Wednesday, February 03, 2021
byAbby Zimet, Further columnist
Good times. Photo is state’s exhibit.
It seems the courts have lost track of Kyle Rittenhouse, the 18-year-old punk charged with multiple felony counts, including homicide, after he killed two people and wounded one with an assault rifle he brought to last summer’s BLM protests in Kenosha, Wisconsin sparked by the police shooting of Jacob Blake. Being a white boy and all, Rittenhouse got swiftly out on bail after Trump-loving, riot-inciting, election-fraud-lie-spewing attorney Lin Wood – now under investigation for voting illegally in said election – raised $2 million to get him released. Kyle was so happy that, right after his arraignment on Jan. 5, he “demonstrated his carefree attitude,” in the words of prosecutors, by high-tailing it to a local bar, drinking three beers – he was still 17 at the time but under the clearly wise tutelage of his mother – and getting his picture taken with a bunch of “Proud Boys” while flashing white power signs and wearing a “Free As Fuck” t-shirt, because he’s just that classy a guy. But when Kenosha detectives recently went to what was Rittenhouse’s address, a man said he’d been renting the apartment since Dec. 15 and Kyle was nowhere in sight, having inexplicably declined to correct his address on a document he signed Jan. 22.
On Wednesday, prosecutors asked a judge to issue a new arrest warrant charging Rittenhouse with violating bail conditions; they also asked bail be upped by $200,000, noting it’s rare for a homicide defendant to be left to roam free and they’d kinda like to know where he is. Rittenhouse’s attorney countered in a motion that death threats have driven Rittenhouse and his wonderful mom into a “safe house”; he offered to give prosecutedors the address if they’d keep it secret, but they refused. Online, some noted that at least good ole Kyle fits right into the “big tent” GOP of bigots, grifters, insurrectionists, neo-Nazis, liars and rapists. Many also argued that, while it’s a tad alarming authorities let slip a hapless, homicidal, aggrieved, entitled, possibly delusional, heavily armed white thug, it would be way scarier if he’d been charged with, say, selling individual cigarettes or holding up a cell phone or playing with a toy gun or riding a bike without a light or turning a car without signalling or jogging or sleeping or babysitting or passing a baby or taking the subway or carrying a bag or nodding out in the Taco Bell drive-through or knocking on a door after running out of gas or stealing a bag of chips or having a mental health crisis or wearing a hoodie or, you know, living while black, so there’s that.