The Guilt-Free Guide for Working Muslim Moms to Raise Great Kids


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If you're a working mom, like me, you may have had eyebrows raised and talked many times about leaving your children in kindergarten or nursery and going to work. Working Muslim Moms

Society sometimes stigmatizes working women for transferring their role to others, not caring about the detrimental consequences of this for the health and upbringing of our children. I firmly believe, and it has been proven that you can be a working mom and raise productive well-rounded children.

When we immerse ourselves in time, we discover that our mother Khadija (RA) was an excellent mother, wife, and entrepreneur — she raised children who were promised paradise! We cannot defeat this, I take my inspiration from her and other great women of the past, such as the mothers of Musa (AU), Imam Bukhari and Imam Malik, to mention some of them.

Recent studies show that working mothers bring up happy, productive children who are smart, safe, loving, confident and make a positive contribution to the growth of society.

The focus of this article should not give preference to the idea of ​​being a working mom, but indicate how we can raise smart, well-adjusted children with the requirements of career juggling and managing other priorities in our lives.

All moms need to make choices about how to raise their children, depending on your vision and the goals of your family. Also, remember that we all have different circumstances. Some women prefer to work, some prefer to stay at home, and some are forced to work because they are single, abandoned or mothers who have no other source of financial support.

You know your situation better than anyone, and you are the best judge of what is good and healthy for the well-being of you and your family. What works for you, works for you!

As we already know, education is the most difficult, but useful work on the planet. You call 24/7, 365 days a year. So, how do we balance our career and family management without being exhausted, overwhelmed and burned out? Many of us often burn a candle at both ends.

Undoubtedly, as working moms, we must make tremendous sacrifices and reduce some of our own leisure activities, which in itself is an act of dedication. We could miss the occasional evening of parents for a meeting at work if we were true to ourselves. It is wonderful to express yourself to our children and tell them that you are not a super mother all the time.

Here are a few things that we can start doing to raise excellent children, not feeling the guilt of the mother, which all mothers experience, but working mothers do even more:

1. Strengthen your relationship with Allah subnanahu wa taala (glorified and exalted He will be)

The starting point is an understanding of your basic obligation, which is to worship Allah subchanahu va ta'la (glorified and exalted, be He). Our creed already informs us that our main goal is to worship Allah Subhanahu wa ta 39 ala (glorified and exalted by Him).

“I created man and jinn only to worship Me”

,[[[[Quran: chapter 51, verse 56]

It is extremely important that you have a strong spiritual connection with your Creator, because, believe me, you will need Allah Subhannah Wah Taala (glorified and exalted He) every inch of the way.

2. Understand your role and responsibilities

We have many duties and responsibilities, Allah Suchnanahu Wah Ta'a (glorified and exalted He) warns us:

"O you who believe, protect yourself and your families from the fire, whose fuel are people and stones."[[[[Quran: Chapter 66, Verse 6]

It is important to have a clear goal and vision for how to achieve this., The prophet Lallallah alayhi wa sallam (may Allah bless him and welcome) also tells us that:

“Each of you is a shepherd, and each of you is responsible for your flock. The leader is a shepherd and is responsible for his flock; the man is the shepherd of his family and is responsible for his flock; the woman is a shepherd in her husband’s house and is responsible for her flock; The servant is the shepherd of the wealth of his master and is responsible for this. Each of you is a shepherd and is responsible for his flock. ”[[[[Bukhari and Muslims]

Allah has assigned you to this role. You must be a visionary mother who has clarity regarding the basic duties and responsibilities that Allah Subhanahu Wah Ta allah has placed on you (He will be glorified and exalted). A visionary mother knows that she is the first school of her child and is responsible for raising Iman, teaching and guiding her children, shaping their character and behavior, instilling in them Islamic principles, values ​​and beliefs. Your duty is to establish your Islamic identity by raising children who fear God, just as Yakub (AS) did with Yusuf (AS) at a very early age.

Allah has provided us with the resources, character traits and behaviors necessary to fulfill the most important, complex, but most pleasant and useful role in the world!

As a mother, you know that your goal is to receive pleasure from Allah Subhanahu va ta & ал aly (glorified and exalted to be He), and this applies to all aspects of our life. The key here is to seek His pleasure with the help of Isan (excellence), and motherhood is no exception.

3. Allah is only a dua

"Giving is the essence of worship."[[[[Tirmidhi]

Knowing my Lord only d & a It gives me additional confidence and assurance that no matter what happens, He will be a suknanahu wa taala (glorified and exalted He) to see me. Especially in those moments when you can't see the forest for the trees - do you know what I mean? The Prophet Lallallah & # 39; alayhi wa sallam (may Allah bless and greet him) tells us that Allah says:

"The Almighty said:" I, as my servant, thinks (expects) that I am. I am with him when he mentions me. If he mentions me about himself, I mention him for myself; and if he mentions Me in the congregation, I mention him more in the congregation than he does. If he comes closer to Me, extends his hand, I will raise his hand. And if he comes to me, I will go to him running.[[[[Bukhari and Muslims]

Good positive thoughts about Allah are relevant in seeing us through regular depressions and throws of life. Never underestimate the power of dua.

4. The power of priority

Getting my ducks in a row gives me clarity and focus in life. First, plan your day around lard, not lard during the day. After Allah Subhanahu va'ala (glorified and exalted by Him) and the Prophet Lallallah, alayhi, may Allah bless him and welcome, my next priority in life is my children. I will never compromise it at all costs. My children know that no matter how busy I am, I love them, and they are an important priority in my life. Your commitment to your family will appear in what you imitate. If I sometimes have to stay at work, I let them know why and when I will be at home. It is very important to be in their team and theirs on yours. I have agreement with my children that, in spite of everything, I do not bring work from home. As soon as I walk out the door to work, I put my mother on the hijab! It helps me prepare mentally and physically, putting myself in a positive mood, ready for my children. I always return home to my children with a huge grin on my face - even if my day does not go well, and I leave something to discuss at the dinner table.
We must accept our shortcomings so that our children know that we are not superhuman beings. They will appreciate and sympathize with us. This does not mean that we drop our luggage on them; we just make them aware of our feelings, and this is crucial for their understanding of how to cope with their emotions and emotions

5. Present

When you are there, be there! We know that when the Prophet Lallallahu alayhi greets (peace and blessings of Allah upon him), someone turns to someone, he turned his full body to give the individual his full attention and listened carefully and attentively. Your child will love you very much because so you create and establish a connection between you and your childRemember Yusuf (AS) and his father? Yusuf (AU) ran to him when he had a dream, because he knew that his father was his hero. Be present with your child and ignore these emails, duties, and phone, because you Can do it later. Or else, you only tell your child that the phone call, email or document you are preparing is more important than he / she. Being real means that your child is the most important person for you at that moment, and you have your full attention, believe that I am here, and now it's fantastic!

6. I have a mom and I with my children

As a working mother, I am sure you already know that we have limited time to be with our children. For me, my children have a minimum of 10 minutes every evening or morning, and this is one on one with me. At these moments, we discuss everything we want, and sometimes it will be a family evening chat; To be honest, they usually turn out to be family chat rooms, and we love them. At this time, all the technology is turned off, and we usually have an explosion - it happens in my room quite funny! These are the best and most valuable moments that I will appreciate as long as I live.

Mom's time and time can also be unplanned and part of your normal activities with your child. For example, I taught a class from Masida and took my son with me. We traveled for an hour and a half each time, so he had plenty of time to have useful chats with me, which he called Mom's time and time, and always looked forward to it. We always had so much fun!

7. Organize and set up your routine

Important to have routine for your usual activities, Procedures for morning, evening, homework, the Koran, family meetings, walks and other procedures that are unique to your family. Working mother must be very organized and plan well so that she does not burn out and ultimately force herself and her children

8. The day begins on the eve

It is very useful for me to plan activities the next day, whether it’s the children's readiness to get ready for school and put it out the door, prepare packed lunches and provide all the clothes the next day, iron and spread - including my own! Getting school uniforms signed and handing out lunch money the night before your miracles are for me, so most of the time I have a continuous morning and I have a great start to the day. Thus, the morning becomes smoother and more productive, and everyone can get out the door in one piece!

9. Wake up early

Subhanahu va ta & ala (glorified and exalted, be He). We know that He subhannahu wa taala (glorified and exalted He) descends to the lower heavens to respond to the duets of those who ask, so why not wake up and meet Him? The Prophet Lallallah & # 39; alayhi wa sallam (may Allah bless him and welcome) has already told us that the early hours of the morning are a blessed time for his ummah. I urge you and me to take full advantage of these blessed hours. Excite yourself, take a bath / shower, etc., no matter what your boat floats, and then dressed for work. It does not matter whether you are a mother or a mother at home. Waking up early helps you prepare to cope well with the tasks of the day. Before I get out of bed, I organize my schedule all day in my head, and as soon as I get up, I am ready to quit.

10. Be flexible in your work.

Most organizations promote a balance of working life and have introduced many “family policies”. Here, in the UK, where I live, the government introduced extended maternity leave, working remotely at home and part-time work. There are other flexible schemes in various organizations. With the right arrangement, I can attend the holidays of my children, sports days, meetings with parents, etc.

Find an organization that allows you to customize your work time to the circumstances of your family. I work as a consultant who gives me the flexibility to work for hours that match my personal circumstances, and he still works well in Alhamdulillah. Recently, I started a new project, and from the very beginning I made it clear that I would start a little late in the morning, because I have to take my children to a small corner store, where they get their treats during the day, and I drop them at school. We cherish this routine, so I want to keep it as long as possible!

11. Plan your meals

Cooking takes up a significant portion of our time. Making meal plans helps us better organize our time and helps us spend less time in the kitchen. I like to plan meals in two-week blocks with the help of children, which translates into my shopping list, so I know for sure that I buy in stores or on the Internet. We also cook in bulk for the weekend to freeze, so for a week we just need to warm them up, and dinner is served in a matter of minutes!

12. Waiting time per hour

With constant demands on your time, you will often feel exhausted and overwhelmed. Set a time, for example, during or after lunch, where you can chat, laugh, catch up with school and what happens in the lives of your children at school and otherwise. You will give them the attention they need, and you will find that your children are largely independent.

13. Regular family walks

Finding time to curl up with kids is great. It should not be something extravagant. It can be a visit to the local Masida to teach children the etiquette of masids, a day at the park, a zoo, a museum, a walk, food, a vacation for short or long breaks, etc. I am sure you can come up with many more ideas to spend time with your family . It's brilliant, because it gives family time to link and strengthen your relationship. Through family walks, you also give them quality and quantity of time - the best of both worlds.

14. Master the art of delegation

As I found, working on a house is a teamwork and effort. There is a brilliant organization called TaskRabbit, where you delegate the tasks you need to complete, from household chores to errands, and they will do it for you. This allows me to free up time to spend on what I love, like time with my family.

My children are my team; we all assigned the work we do to ease the burden. When we go to the grocery store, I stay in the car until they leave the store. They always have a budget and a shopping list. In the end, they also learn life skills. Several times I have a dream, or you listen to something, call a friend, etc., and take it as a chance for me to recuperate and charge the batteries. Engage children in household chores and other activities: I believe that their responsibility and responsibility make them reasonable, independent, reliable and self-confident people.

15. Embrace technology

Properly used technology can serve you and help you stay organized. Download apps that work for you and make your work smarter and more efficient. I use technology for all of my banking operations — saving a trip to a bank. All my accounts are automated; I check my account from time to time to avoid surprises. Other apps that I find useful are novelty, OneNote, Evernote, and Google. The point at Google is that the whole family can access the online calendar system. My children can plan things in my diary and vice versa. Thanks to online shopping, I don’t need to go to the grocery store often. There are many Islamic applications available for download to our devices to help us make the most of our time to worship. The whole point is to work smarter, not harder.

16. Create a network of support for moms

Create a network of like-minded people and rely on them when you need. Social connection and maintaining relationships with our friends are vital for our sanity and well-being.

17. Release Perfection

As Muslims, we need to do everything with perfection, and not with perfection. Know that it's normal to have a dirty house; Do not be heavy if you do not perform some tasks. This is normal because your mind and body also need a break. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) tells us that the body has a right over us: recognize the warning signs and give it a break. Good enough. Ask for help, tasks may not be performed with your standard, but the completed task is the completed task. For example, on Fridays we do not cook - we just get takeaway and have fun for the evening.

My children call this “take-out Friday” which gives me some rest and all of us some great time together.

18. Celebrate successes!

Whatever success means to you, celebrate by sharing it with Allah  and thanking Him for a great day.

“And [remember] when your Lord proclaimed, ‘If you are grateful, I will surely increase you [in favour]; but if you deny, indeed, My punishment is severe.’” [Qu’ran: Chapter 14, Verse 7]

Being a working mom is challenging but also one of the most fulfilling and rewarding jobs. Although you work, you are also role-modelling to your children that moms too have interests they like to and can pursue. They will see you grow and contribute to the community for the greater good while caring for and nurturing them, and they will see you as an active productive individual that they would love to emulate.

InshaAllah, I hope you find these strategies useful to apply in your own life. You know yourself and your circumstances best, so what works for me works, and what works for you works too. The best advice my mom gave me when I was growing up is an African saying that goes: “Never set your daily tasks by someone else’s watch”

This article was originally published by ProductiveMuslim:

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