Children's steps to becoming the main parent
A father cannot give a better gift to his son than a good education. (Tirmidhi)
After marriage for 10 years, and then staying in the hospital for about 138 days, we were blessed with two beautiful girls. It was a year after we clung to Kaaba and prayed for godly offspring. We knew little about the problems of raising the "Pious Offspring"!
My wife and I both participated in the field of education, working as a teacher, consultant and administrator in several local and international private and public schools and colleges.
Becoming a parent was an amazing experience, and, waiting for 10 years and engaged in teaching children, we thought we were ready! Only after parents became involved with reality,ou are never fully ready until you become one!
Good education is like being a good Muslim – it requires constant struggle to focus on our goals (that is, if we take the time to even establish them first), being aware of the consequences of our choice, honest assessment of ourselves and the best efforts to improve our condition.
God does not change the condition of people until they change what is in itself. (Koran 13:11)
The struggle is real, but God is the best helper, and He, from His infinite mercy, has made His Deen (religion) easy – ad-deenu yusrun (Bukhari) – and many times I find that it is our lack of knowledge or structured routine to bring this knowledge to the practice that keeps us from moving forward. Therefore, I am here to share my personal reflection on the four simple steps that I plan to take in the education of ideal children thanks to the beneficial grace of Allah Subhanahu va ta & # 39; ala (The glorified is He). And the key to success, I feel, is to start each of the following four practices in a small but consistent, meaningful and high-quality way – to make the foundation of these actions strong and grow from there. The actions most beloved of Allah are those that are small, but are being made consistently. (Bukhari).
1. Start with yourself
Become a student of knowledge–A learned man has more power over Satan than a pious worshiper. (Tirmidhi)
- Meet with a scientist (someone who motivates and inspires you to remember and draw closer to God) regularly. Scholars are the heirs of the prophets, so create a lasting friendship with that which prevents you and your family from stagnating. Ask his or her advice regularly. Regularly send your child to these meetings / meetings.
- Read books and research about Parenting in Islam and keep in touch with modern scientific research in the field of education and child psychology (for example, Education love and logic – www.loveandlogic.com), always considering them with the lens of the Islamic ethos.
- But above all, where else can we find a guide different from the wonderful examples of our loved ones Nabi (Prophet) Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him)? He was sent as a mercy to all mankind (the Quran 21:10) sent to a perfect human character (muatta) in each role, including in relation to the father, as well as Allah (swt), contained the best examples in his behavior (Quran 33:21).
Be a role model–An example of a person who teaches people good and neglects himself is like a lamp that is a source of light for people and burns itself. (Tabarani)
- Action speaks louder than words – and this is where we seem to lack the current intellectual era, where a huge amount of knowledge is readily available, but only a small part of the corresponding ideals and character traits are observed in people. Instead of telling our children not to be on the iPod or to watch too much television, we can show them through our actions and read a book together!
- The best character model. Always consult with kindness. Learn patience by practicing patience and perseverance. Delay satisfaction and focus on learning their routines. Be calm and never discipline when angry. Truly anger destroys faith, because aloe spoils the honey (Bayhaqi). Behave with your spouse, parents, relatives, and friends kindly and kindly, as our elders and scholars record many times when people do not respect their parents or spouse, and they reap the bad consequences of their actions with similar and unpleasant appeals to their children later on. .
- Be a friend. Always make sincere efforts to understand the perspectives of your children and not force you. Show love and empathize. Be easily accessible. Should I not inform you about who is forbidden by fire and who is forbidden to fire? Anyone who is close to people is soft and soft. (Ibid.)
2. Provide the perfect learning environment.
Create a balance between work and home– Our child’s education is equally or more important than work (depending on where we work) and, consequently, the need for our commitment to spend quality time with the family. Invest time in creating the ideal learning environment at home.
Set the schedule– Time management is the biggest problem for us, the parents. We can engage our family in planning a daily schedule that everyone agrees on. Be it within 10 minutes, set up a study circle to talk, read or discuss Deen and especially the life and sayings of the Prophet ﷺ.
Pay attention to the spiritual and physical health of the family.-Create and follow a healthy diet plan, do physical work with your family at least three times a week, create a daily connection with Masjid (mosque) and minimize waste of time (i.e. monitor television, electronic games and Internet access), as well as having a healthy choice for relaxation and rejuvenation of the body and mind.
3. Teach your child the best character and etiquette.
Remember God, wherever you are; follow the wrong rule that compensates for it; and kindly treat people (Tirmidhi). We find three great qualities from this. Hadith (prophetic narrative) that we can inculcate in our children:
- God consciousness. Our children should be trained to be aware of their actions and to study the consequences of good and bad choices.
- Accountability. You make a mess, you clear a mess. From an early age, always give them a choice and do not be afraid to let them make a mistake, as this will give an opportunity to give a valuable lesson of responsibility, which we hope will always be remembered.
- Courtesy – this character trait should be part of the early learning we provide for our children. They should always be kind and polite with their parents, teachers, peers, brothers and sisters, and with all of God's creation. Courtesy is rooted in charity for others, and it is a necessary characteristic of a true Muslim. Politeness should be extended to the teacher, knowledge and learning environment.
Spend a weekly family discussion or reading session on other special traits such as respect, kindness, reliability, and best effort. Provide positive behavior – simple confirmation can also go a long way.
4. Take Asylum in Du`a
Who could have done any of these steps better than the beloved and chosen messengers of God (may Allah bless them and welcome)? But they knew perfectly well that the results of their efforts and true leadership were in the hands of Allah (swt), who has power over all things.
Therefore, we must learn to pray regularly to Allah (swt) for our children, to learn du'a's (request) from the Book of Allah and examples of the Messenger of Allah ﷺ and pronounce them from the heart in order to attract the mercy, guidance and acceptance of Allah (swt), as he is true Murabbi (The educator) and can compensate for our shortcomings in guiding and shaping our most valuable trust — our children. In fact, who directed the leadership of Allah, and whoever was mistaken, no one can lead him. Here are some beautiful du`aKoran parents can read regularly:
Rabbaana waj`al muslimayni laka wa min. Dhurryatina ummatam muslimatal lak wa arina manasikana watub alayna innaka antta tawwabur raheem.
Our lord! And make us humble to you and from our offspring a people obedient to you, and show us the ways of our worship and bow down to us with your grace; indeed, you are only the Prayer Book of Repentance, the Merciful. (Koran 2: 128)
Rabbi habli milla dunka dhurryatan tayyiba innaka samiud du`a & # 39;
[Zachariah prayed] Lord, give me from clean descendants. Truly, you hear the prayers. (Koran 3:38)
Rabbahuma la an aitaytana salihan lana kunanna minash shakireen
O Allah! Of course, if you give us well formed child, we will be forever grateful. (Koran 7: 189)
Rabbi j`alni muqimus salati wa min dhurryyati rabbana wataqabbal du`a & # 39;
O my Lord! Support me as one who sets the prayer, and some of my descendants; O our Lord! and accept my prayer. (Koran 14:40)
Rabbi la tadharni farda va anta hayrul boetin
[ Zakaria prayed] Oh my Lord – do not leave me without offspringand you are the best inheritor. (Koran 21:89)
Rabbana hablana min azwajina wa dhurryatina qurrata a & # 39; yuniw waj`alna lil muttaqina imama
Our Lord, calm our eyes with ours wives and our childrenand make us pious leaders. (Koran 25:74)
Feeling ready to be a parent? Are you sure? Last modified: July 30, 2018 from